Index

The Great GOP Flatline

I used to think zombies were legendary creatures, like Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and all the ridiculous gods everybody is always making so much noise about. I am beginning to think that zombies are real.

I was talking to a member of the orange cult today, and she told me that Hitler was a Socialist. I had heard that before. The excuse they gave for the total ignorance was that the English translation of the Nazi party’s real name includes the word socialist. That is like saying that the orange idiot was a Republican - while his membership card was current, he had nothing in common with the Republican party of Nixon, for instance. Hitler had nothing to do with Socialism - the name on the label means nothing; both the orange anus and Hitler lied.

That kind of this-person-failed-third-grade intellect made me realize that there are an awful lot of members of the orange cult that basically have nothing going on between the ears. If they ended up in the emergency room, nobody would ever power up their ventilators because they are completely brain dead - the instrument would see nothing but 60-hz line noise from the fluorescent lighting.

The popular definition of zombie is walking dead - their brains are gone, but they keep destroying things. The more I think about the current state of the GOP, the more I realize that shows like “The Walking Dead” aren’t TV shows, they are documentaries. The zombies are real and determined to kill those of us capable of thinking.

There is one big difference, though. In reality the zombies have all the guns, but nobody would watch that as a TV show because it would be too scary. They had to soften it a bit to keep an audience.